Showing posts with label comedy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label comedy. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Mike Enriquez inhales a live tarsier











Broadcaster Mike Enriquez could face criminal charges and a P1 million fine for allegedly harming an endangered species after he accidentally inhaled a live tarsier during a sting operation against illegal smugglers in Bohol province.

The incident occurred on Friday evening when Enriquez, accompanied by a TV crew from his investigative show “Imbestigador,” joined an operation of law enforcers from the Department of Environment and Natural Resources in a raid of a warehouse in the town of Sagbayan.

Based on reports reaching Good Times Manila, the operatives intercepted a shipment of more than 30 tarsiers from the warehouse where they were being kept in a small cage to be transported to sellers of exotic pets. Endemic to the Philippines, the tarsier, the size of a closed human fist, is one of the smallest primates in the world.

Enriquez, who was advised not to go near the animals, reportedly insisted on getting closer so his cameramen could film them.

But as the tarsiers were being carefully moved, the broadcast journalist crept closer and closer until he was just inches from the little creatures, according to reports.

To everyone’s shock, Enriquez, who was breathing heavily in excitement, suddenly inhaled one of the tarsiers, a pregnant female, which got sucked into his right nostril as though by a vacuum cleaner.

Paramedics and rescue teams on standby tried in vain to extricate the animal, but they could not locate it in the cavernous hole. Doctors in a nearby hospital also said they did not have the right instruments to deal with the emergency.

Fearing that the tarsier is already dead, environment groups are demanding an apology from Enriquez on top of criminal charges and fines. Enriquez has apologized for what happened and said he is open to an investigation.

UPDATE: As this story was being posted, GTM learned that the tarsier is alive and well, and that the charges against Enriquez have been dropped.

“This morning, I felt her move inside my my nasal cavities. She seems very active and healthy,” Enriquez said by phone from his bed in an undisclosed hospital where he is under observation. He also revealed that the 110-gram tarsier had apparently given birth to a baby inside.

“I can feel the patter of its tiny feet,” Enriquez said. To feed the mother and its baby, he said he catches flies, crickets and grasshappers, and flicks them into his nostrils.

He recalled that while being interviewed by provincial media this morning, a tiny head suddenly peeked out of his right nostril for a brief moment before scurrying back inside. “Everyone reacted like, ‘awww, how cute,’” he said.

http://goodtimesmanila.com/

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Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Marc Logan is ‘Journalist of the Year’


Marc Logan, ABS-CBN’s prized reporter, has been honored as “Journalist of the Year” by the Rotary Club of Manila in recognition of his 12 years of reporting local oddities and other crazy stuff on primetime TV.

Logan, famous for his rapidfire and rhythmic way of delivering the news, was recognized for his keen eye for detail and nose for news, especially about funny stuff like “wrestling gay men, tribal street dancers, old ladies competing in beauty pageants, two-headed carabaos, etc.”

“Marc Logan makes everything seem funny to the point that it’s unfunny, annoying and repetitive. He makes fun of things that are not really amusing, and the way he reports it is
not even remotely funny, but he has been doing it for years,” read part of the citation.

“That is a really funny thing.”

Logan was cited for his TV Patrol coverage on such important local events like town festivals and record-breaking attempts for things like “biggest bilao of palabok” or “largest sisig plate,” among many, many, many others.

“Gay jokes, old lady jokes, fat lady jokes, toothless people jokes, dark-skinned people jokes – you name it, and Marc Logan has made it every night every year for the past 12 years,” according to Rotary.

Logan makes us “question our own ideas and concepts of humor and even our own intelligence because even though we rarely laugh at his inane jokes and senseless rhyming, he is
still at it, this unfunny big man, laughing like a hyena all the way to the bank,” Rotary added.

Upon accepting the award, Logan thanked ABS-CBN for allowing him to do his thing every night, and his family for being his “only fans.”

Good Times Manila recently had dinner with the Logan family to see what the famous newsman is really like in person.

Here is how the dinner went:

Marc Logan: Napakasarap ng ating ulam, sweetheart. Isang plato ng galunggong, dalawang lata ng corned beef at syempre pa, kangkong with bagoong. Ayayayay! Mukhang mananaba na
naman ako nyan! Ang tyan ko nga’y bilugan na tulad ng isang balloon. Bukas kailangan ko na yatang mag-gym kasama ng mga macho at seksing naroon! Naku naman, inay, hindi kaya ako
ma-out-of-place doon?

Logan’s wife: Ikaw, Marc Logan, huwag ka nang magreklamo dyan! Gwapo ka pa rin naman, parang si Brad Pitt lamang! Oha? Oha? Si Brad Pitt ka pag nakatalikod, si Tom Cruise pag
nakasideview, at pagnakaharap? Naku, mukha kang isang baluga! Joke lang naman, sweetheart! Hayan, kumain pa kayo dyan. May sinaing pa sa kusina, wag na kayong mahiya!

Logan’s son: Haynaku, inay, haynaku, itay, bukas kailangan kong maagang gumising pagkat pupunta kami ng aking barkada sa Boracay! Pahingi namang pangbaon nang hindi ako mamulubi
roon… Ay, P1,000 lang? Itay naman, parang hindi ka si Marc Logan! Nakakahiya naman kung ang anak mo’y pagtawanan ng mga kaibigan nya’t kachokaran! Ayayayay! Salamat sa P3,000,
itay! May pasalubong kayo sa akin na T-shirt at kung anek anek galing Boracay!

Logan’s daughter (adopted): Can’t you talk like normal people? My gosh! Nakakahiya sa bisita.

http://goodtimesmanila.com/

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